Fill my ears with anything - a song, promises, lies
Anything so I don't have to hear my own thoughts
A stranger's words more comforting than mine
Take me home, Love me wrong.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Patterns
Feel nothing when there's nothing to feel
But I thought it was something,
I thought it was real
Be with me now, don't lay there so blank
Thinking what I'm thinking
Loaded numb with heartache
Now rose-eyed and drifting
Can you catch me, I'm slipping
But I thought it was something,
I thought it was real
Be with me now, don't lay there so blank
Thinking what I'm thinking
Loaded numb with heartache
Now rose-eyed and drifting
Can you catch me, I'm slipping
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Throwing Darts
Another shift
I’m perfecting the practice
I follow you...
A few steps behind so I can watch your reactions
I wait counting backwards from 100 to empty
I write letters to someone I don’t know, think I want, but can’t give in to
Easy Hearts in my speakers
Summer is here
Tempting me in every direction
I’m perfecting the practice
I follow you...
A few steps behind so I can watch your reactions
I wait counting backwards from 100 to empty
I write letters to someone I don’t know, think I want, but can’t give in to
Easy Hearts in my speakers
Summer is here
Tempting me in every direction
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Elevators
Rewind... Stumbling along these last few days. Was room 1016 just a dream? My head's dizzy. A bit confused yet filled with the ring of a song not yet released. Thoughts of hopefulness. Do I feel this way or is it sleep deprivation fucking with my sense of reason? Fogged by a loss of my sense of reality... Do I venture into this kind of feeling, just to know how it feels to feel, so I can write about it in a story one day and say that I lived it. Who knows. Jumping to conclusions. You can't have control over what happens. You can have control over what happens...
Sometimes I wonder if it happened at all. True lessons of love and life. Maybe I’ll never understand the many layers of you and I. Maybe some things are better left misunderstood. Regardless, I think about you more than you know and wouldn't have it any other way. Best of luck.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Something I Stumbled Upon Today...
“After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open.
With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on
Today because tommorow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And that you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn and learn ....
With every goodbye you learn.”
~Veronica Shoffstall
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open.
With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on
Today because tommorow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And that you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn and learn ....
With every goodbye you learn.”
~Veronica Shoffstall
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The Introduction
"I am lost in the hope for love. Sometimes clinging and grasping to the slightest feeling of it til my nails are dirty and deep in my heart I knew I should have let go a long time ago. Hanging in the perfection of romance because yes, it is perfect to me. Each unique – a different strain of the drug. However, the sweat of romance always dries. And the emotions leave you with the breeze that once whispered on your skin and made you want to make love everywhere you felt it. It's gone as quickly as it came and there you are…left stunned and spun upside down not knowing where to go next, but you feel like you need to go somewhere because standing still is unbearable. What keeps the weather sustainable – the question that keeps me up at night wondering if I'll ever settle for less than perfection because there's a chance the taste of love (however diluted it may be) might stay in my mouth for a second longer. How did I manage to set the bar so high? The bar that sends me running the second my eyes peer underneath it.
However difficult the task may be, I now attempt to discontinue my figurative pacing between what I think is best for us and stand still, waiting for light to show itself beneath the bleak sky of winter and confusion. And I think…
I know this. I truly felt the romance with you. Sincere love. Easily perfection. When I left you, I got in the car and buried my face in my hands in defeat. No tears, just a sigh – the culmination of all the emotions I felt spending my week with you. It was beautiful. And I knew I would not see you for some time, but I did not care because at that moment, I was in love and at peace with the situation.
Since we separated, distance has left us confused. This makes me feel our relationship is weak and unstable. I want to find the words to talk to each other, but instead I hide behind absence and passive aggression hoping maybe you'll get the letter I never sent. So I seek inspiration with the saddest, most thought-provoking records I can find and ask myself the questions every woman has probably asked herself at one time – What is wrong with me? Why does it have to be so god-damn complicated? And then I move on to questions probably more unique to me - Why do I run from love? What am I so afraid of? Are my scars too thick for anyone to feel me beneath them? And on the contrary, why do I grasp for things that may not be in my reach? It's exhausting living in those extremes.
Dedicated to fate, these questions plague into my soul, my very being, like a chronic disease the universe infected me with. What is karmic retribution anyway? Am I becoming jaded to it all? At what point do you give up on the romance? At what point do the daydreams I love to live in become so dismal and dim that I finally wake up and see what's real? But those dreams are all I know. I love them more than anything. They make me tick.
What I felt with you makes me tick. But a part of this love doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel tangible. It's a love that hides behind computer screens and text messages because were too afraid to stare it in the face. Figuratively avoiding eye contact. We are lost in the idea of it all and over analyze what we think we know to the point where we've forgotten that one solid long stare into someone's eyes can tell you more than all the analyzing and text in the world. If you are brave, stare at me now and don't blink because you might miss what I have to say. Here's my letter (and this is the hardest part)…"
However difficult the task may be, I now attempt to discontinue my figurative pacing between what I think is best for us and stand still, waiting for light to show itself beneath the bleak sky of winter and confusion. And I think…
I know this. I truly felt the romance with you. Sincere love. Easily perfection. When I left you, I got in the car and buried my face in my hands in defeat. No tears, just a sigh – the culmination of all the emotions I felt spending my week with you. It was beautiful. And I knew I would not see you for some time, but I did not care because at that moment, I was in love and at peace with the situation.
Since we separated, distance has left us confused. This makes me feel our relationship is weak and unstable. I want to find the words to talk to each other, but instead I hide behind absence and passive aggression hoping maybe you'll get the letter I never sent. So I seek inspiration with the saddest, most thought-provoking records I can find and ask myself the questions every woman has probably asked herself at one time – What is wrong with me? Why does it have to be so god-damn complicated? And then I move on to questions probably more unique to me - Why do I run from love? What am I so afraid of? Are my scars too thick for anyone to feel me beneath them? And on the contrary, why do I grasp for things that may not be in my reach? It's exhausting living in those extremes.
Dedicated to fate, these questions plague into my soul, my very being, like a chronic disease the universe infected me with. What is karmic retribution anyway? Am I becoming jaded to it all? At what point do you give up on the romance? At what point do the daydreams I love to live in become so dismal and dim that I finally wake up and see what's real? But those dreams are all I know. I love them more than anything. They make me tick.
What I felt with you makes me tick. But a part of this love doesn't feel real. It doesn't feel tangible. It's a love that hides behind computer screens and text messages because were too afraid to stare it in the face. Figuratively avoiding eye contact. We are lost in the idea of it all and over analyze what we think we know to the point where we've forgotten that one solid long stare into someone's eyes can tell you more than all the analyzing and text in the world. If you are brave, stare at me now and don't blink because you might miss what I have to say. Here's my letter (and this is the hardest part)…"
Saturday, December 13, 2008
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